As requested

Okay la... memandangkan ada orang request untuk aku menulis tragedi bulan April kat blog ni, maka aku pun tulis la di sini. Tapi ni kalau diorg tak baca memang nak kena sumbat dengan roti sorang-sorang.

Alkisah, semalam aku and kawan aku (nama dirahsiakan atas sebab-sebab keselamatan..gitu!) telah ke sebuah pasaraya besar a.k.a shopping mall kat area tempat kerja aku ni. Kitorg parking kat tempat parking bertingkat tu, not too far from the entrance.Time ni shopping mall tu memang ramai orang, and parking pun almost full, memandangkan gaji baru masuk.

So, anyways, kami berdua asalnya nak pergi membeli grocery, and to tambah stok makanan dalam office kitorg. People, snacks are complusory for me. Even as I work, I must have something to munch, so that tak mengelak daripada mengantuk, tak kisah la makanan apa pun, janji leh kunyah. Ye, even roti Sweetie pun aku tak kisah, but aku prefer yang crunchy macam keropok ke, biskut ke, chewing gum ke...asalkan boleh makan and tak mengakibatkan cirit-birit.

Ok, aku dah melecong ke tempat lain. So, for some reason, kitorg lupa kitorg datang untuk beli groceries, pergi makan la pulak. Hajat nak makan ayam goreng McD, tapi setelah lama beratur, mamat waiter/cashier tu cakap ayam dah habis. Kecewa! Frust dengan ayam, kitorg pergi makan ikan, we went to Sushi King and melantak sepuas-puasnya. Habis makan, kitorg jalan-jalan masuk kedai jewellery, kedai kasut, kedai baju. Kedai ubat a.k.a farmasi pun terjah gak, konon nak beli supplement untuk menyihatkan badan. Sepanjang dua jam kat situ, aku ada la beli 2 things (malas nak cakap apa), tapi kawan aku pulak tak beli apa-apa.

Tengok, membebel benda yang tak relevan lagi. Ok la, straight to the issue. So, kitorg pun bersedia nak balik. We went to the car, and when I clicked, aku perasan signal alarm blinking. Aku ingat 'ah, sudah, takde bateri ke apa? camne nak drive balik?' tapi bila start engine boleh pulak. After waiting for a few minutes, kitorg pun drive keluar. Bila lalu speed bump, I kept hearing this thumping sound. Amende la pulak tu? Dah la malam jumaat kan...ada benda menumpang ke? muahahaha! And then kawan aku bagi reason yang lebih logik daripada benda menumpang; bonet kereta tak tutup ketat kot.

Aku pun 'ha'ahhhh laaaa kan je la hipotesis dia tu. Sampai la aku terfikir, bila masa aku bukak bonet? Minggu ni aku tak ada pernah bukak bonet kereta lagi. So we stopped at the bus station and went to check. Indeed, the car boot was not properly closed. Sebelum aku tutup betul-betul, aku decided to check dulu bonet tu, kot-kot la ada orang nak buat khianat dia letak baby ke apa ke dalam bonet aku.

Then, I realised. Bagpack, vintage handbag and surat khabar lama yang aku guna untuk lapik lepas Broga trip tu...dah takde. Hilang. And I was like..'ooohhhhh damnnn...i just got robbed'. Aku masuk dalam kereta, check the seats and everything, and aku perasan payung aku takde jugak. And botol air aku. Payung transparent (bajet nak feeling macam dalam drama jepun) dan botol air kapsul (yang dibeli dari Korea) aku, hilangggggggggg!!!!!!!

I was shocked, angry, dumbfounded, exasperated...whatever negative emotions you can think of, that was how I felt. Terkejut sampai taktau nak buat apa. I know I should make a report tapi time tu dah nak exit highway, plus kawan aku tu balik naik public, jauh lak tu, aku taknak ambik risiko. So, we drove back straight away. And sepanjang jalan tu, aku tak tau berapa banyak dosa dah aku buat; maki hamun, sumpah seranah, semua perkataan keluar.And sepanjang jalan sampai aku sampai rumah, that alarm thingy won't stop blinking.


Aku taknak explain whatever emotions and feeling and aku taknak cakap whatever shit yang aku nak cakap pasal robber tu. Because aku rasa nanti jenuh pulak orang nak baca. To cut it short, pagi ni aku pergi lodge a police report and went to have my car fixed. Somehow I felt a slight denial and finding it hard to believe that this actually happened. All this while I kept reading news and hearing stories about this incident happening to other people, until it happened to me...

p/s: so there you have it. apa-apa kemusykilan nanti sila tunggu aku buat press conference ye.

That is all

caterpillar and the rose

Last month, I went to climb Broga Hill with my 2 friends. It has been a spectacular and memorable journey, and although we didn't get to catch the sunrise (my fault sebab pancit 3 kali di tengah jalan), we really had fun and enjoyed every moment of it. The view at the top of the hill is breathtaking, and the wind feels so refreshing and as we sat there eating breakfast and chatting and laughing, all the troubles and stress were gone.

But to reach the top, it was quite challenging. Especially for a person like yours truly, where the only exercise she did when she woke up every morning is the few steps to the shower and running down the stairs for breakfast, and eyes exercise; watching the television and reading novel throughout the whole day. So when we started, apparently with all the excitement and enthusiasm, we forgot the most important thing. The most important meal of the day; Breakfast. Since we didn't do that, after around 15 minutes of climbing, with all my stamina gone right after I ended my PLKN training, (which was like 5 years ago..damn I feel old!) I began to feel sick and drowsy, macam morning sickness pulak (eh, macam aku tau je morning sickness tu camne. :p). To avoid any risk of fainting, we stopped for a while and had a short breakfast. Makan roti sikit. Ye la, roti is the easiest quick meal. Nak makan those breakfast bar macam Yogood or Nature's Valley tu pun boleh jugak, tapi tunggu la sampai aku jumpa yang harga dia RM1.70 je macam roti Sweetie tu, baru aku beli. Cheapskate sangat aku ni kan. Haha!

Aku sebenarnya dah lari topik ni. What I am trying to say is, even as we were climbing, with me panting and gasping for air (for a second I thought I might get asthma attack, until I realised that I don't even have asthma), and after getting to the top, while lying down on the big rocks, I had a self-reflection. Sesi muhasabah diri sorang-sorang, gitu! During the climb, I was so close to giving up reaching the top and forget about the whole idea altogether. Why? Because it is difficult, and I don't like it. I sound like a big spoilt brat, and I am embarrassed myself for having to admit the fact.

Reflecting back on all the things happened, all those times where I gave up halfway, it was a huge loss of opportunity. Those opportunities don't come often, and not everyone have that kind of opportunities come knocking. But I did, and yet I took it for granted. When hardships strike, and in the event where it was too much for me to bear, I ran. Escaped. Flee. Leaving the troubles behind, with the assumption that somebody else will clean up the mess. And in most situation, that is exactly what happened.

I felt relieved, of course, for no longer having the liability and responsibility to take the blame for whatever problems that arise from it. But it took me quite long to realise that I am the one who suffer the loss. I don't get to improve. Experience is the best teacher, and only by mistakes that you learn and remember, and become a better person. My act of fleeing or leaving half way, kills all the chances that I could have gotten to improve myself and become more positive that before. And perhaps a better person than who I am now.

It takes a caterpillar through so many pain going through the thorns before it finally gets to the rose (metaphor sangatttt). And so, here's another one to add into my lifelong goal; no more running. Strike out escapism and bring in more positivity and realistic. Because I have seen the beauty and satisfying result of ending and completing a hill climbing challenge, I am certain that at the end of the journey of life, especially those with so much obstacles and wild thorns along the way, it will be so much more beautiful and spectacular, more than words can say.