Last month, I went to climb Broga Hill with my 2 friends. It has been a spectacular and memorable journey, and although we didn't get to catch the sunrise (my fault sebab pancit 3 kali di tengah jalan), we really had fun and enjoyed every moment of it. The view at the top of the hill is breathtaking, and the wind feels so refreshing and as we sat there eating breakfast and chatting and laughing, all the troubles and stress were gone.
But to reach the top, it was quite challenging. Especially for a person like yours truly, where the only exercise she did when she woke up every morning is the few steps to the shower and running down the stairs for breakfast, and eyes exercise; watching the television and reading novel throughout the whole day. So when we started, apparently with all the excitement and enthusiasm, we forgot the most important thing. The most important meal of the day; Breakfast. Since we didn't do that, after around 15 minutes of climbing, with all my stamina gone right after I ended my PLKN training, (which was like 5 years ago..damn I feel old!) I began to feel sick and drowsy, macam morning sickness pulak (eh, macam aku tau je morning sickness tu camne. :p). To avoid any risk of fainting, we stopped for a while and had a short breakfast. Makan roti sikit. Ye la, roti is the easiest quick meal. Nak makan those breakfast bar macam Yogood or Nature's Valley tu pun boleh jugak, tapi tunggu la sampai aku jumpa yang harga dia RM1.70 je macam roti Sweetie tu, baru aku beli. Cheapskate sangat aku ni kan. Haha!
Aku sebenarnya dah lari topik ni. What I am trying to say is, even as we were climbing, with me panting and gasping for air (for a second I thought I might get asthma attack, until I realised that I don't even have asthma), and after getting to the top, while lying down on the big rocks, I had a self-reflection. Sesi muhasabah diri sorang-sorang, gitu! During the climb, I was so close to giving up reaching the top and forget about the whole idea altogether. Why? Because it is difficult, and I don't like it. I sound like a big spoilt brat, and I am embarrassed myself for having to admit the fact.
Reflecting back on all the things happened, all those times where I gave up halfway, it was a huge loss of opportunity. Those opportunities don't come often, and not everyone have that kind of opportunities come knocking. But I did, and yet I took it for granted. When hardships strike, and in the event where it was too much for me to bear, I ran. Escaped. Flee. Leaving the troubles behind, with the assumption that somebody else will clean up the mess. And in most situation, that is exactly what happened.
I felt relieved, of course, for no longer having the liability and responsibility to take the blame for whatever problems that arise from it. But it took me quite long to realise that I am the one who suffer the loss. I don't get to improve. Experience is the best teacher, and only by mistakes that you learn and remember, and become a better person. My act of fleeing or leaving half way, kills all the chances that I could have gotten to improve myself and become more positive that before. And perhaps a better person than who I am now.
It takes a caterpillar through so many pain going through the thorns before it finally gets to the rose (metaphor sangatttt). And so, here's another one to add into my lifelong goal; no more running. Strike out escapism and bring in more positivity and realistic. Because I have seen the beauty and satisfying result of ending and completing a hill climbing challenge, I am certain that at the end of the journey of life, especially those with so much obstacles and wild thorns along the way, it will be so much more beautiful and spectacular, more than words can say.
No comments:
Post a Comment