Those were the days

There are days
Where she just wants to curl herself
And sit under the shower
With water falling hard to her head
As she cries alone in the bathroom

There are days
Where music is an annoyance
And silence is welcomed
Where chatter seems like a hateful task
And quiet is like a lifelong passion

There are days
Where she wishes nothing more than being alone
For fear of heartbroken or forgotten

There are days
Where nothing in this world is worth living for
And that it is nothing but an empty pit stop
A pit stop for a place she knows not where

There are days
Where she wonders her purpose of living
Breathing in every air
Walking in every soil

But mistake her not
She is far from being ungrateful
Not even near hatred
Towards those she holds most dear
For when she loves, she loves hard
Unfortunately.

And when the big thunder of hatred, betrayal and envy come hitting her
She is left little to hold on to dear life
To keep on staying alive
To keep surviving

She has one weak, small heart
Full with stitches and bandages of wounds past
Complete blame would be unjust
For she is just trying to live with whatever's left

There are days
Like this day
Where she pens down her innermost feelings onto a piece of paper
Despite knowing how easily it could be jeopardised

Because there are days
Where she thinks trust is a strong shield
And words and thoughts of people are like pebbles in one's shoes
Nothing but unwanted and unworthy.

-October 2013-