It was a brief moment,
That one time,
When you and I walked together,
As we looked at the setting sun
Nothing more, nothing less,
Just looking, and then we left,
But I somehow felt something,
And that was when I started hoping
Oh, how I hate that feeling,
For it comes with uncertainty and pain,
I somehow knew, what I got myself into,
But man, this heart is just so stubborn.
I dare not say anything about how I feel,
Because what the heart wants, I know it's not real,
It will bring trouble, and might keep you away,
And I want more than anything, for you to stay.
1/6/2014
Friday, August 29, 2014
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
You. Yes, You.
I think of you
And a smile carved helplessly
You
With the messy hair
You
with your goofiness
You
With words so proper
You
Who made me merry, who made me gay
With smiles and laughter
As you joke away
With random stories, and quirky encounter
And even random thoughts that made me ponder
Time flies fast when you're around
If feels as though it just started
Perhaps even time is envious
Of you and I chatting and laughing
You
With your charming smile
And twinkles in your eyes
How could a person afford to hate?
Someone who is able to bring out your charms
And honestly tells you your mistake
Indeed I feel grateful
To be in your circle
You
With spirits so high
That your definitely can touch the sky
You
A friend I truly adore
And perhaps more
Yet of course the latter
Brings nothing but trouble
It is a risk I dare not take
Because something bigger is at stake
And losing it will bring bereavement
And a heart will definitely break
I would rather appreciate and accept
The fate that is written already
And making the best of it
For you and for me
So here's to endless friendship
I really hope it will be
Because you are one of the best things
That's happened to me.
-September 2013-
And a smile carved helplessly
You
With the messy hair
You
with your goofiness
You
With words so proper
You
Who made me merry, who made me gay
With smiles and laughter
As you joke away
With random stories, and quirky encounter
And even random thoughts that made me ponder
Time flies fast when you're around
If feels as though it just started
Perhaps even time is envious
Of you and I chatting and laughing
You
With your charming smile
And twinkles in your eyes
How could a person afford to hate?
Someone who is able to bring out your charms
And honestly tells you your mistake
Indeed I feel grateful
To be in your circle
You
With spirits so high
That your definitely can touch the sky
You
A friend I truly adore
And perhaps more
Yet of course the latter
Brings nothing but trouble
It is a risk I dare not take
Because something bigger is at stake
And losing it will bring bereavement
And a heart will definitely break
I would rather appreciate and accept
The fate that is written already
And making the best of it
For you and for me
So here's to endless friendship
I really hope it will be
Because you are one of the best things
That's happened to me.
-September 2013-
Those were the days
There are days
Where she just wants to curl herself
And sit under the shower
With water falling hard to her head
As she cries alone in the bathroom
There are days
Where music is an annoyance
And silence is welcomed
Where chatter seems like a hateful task
And quiet is like a lifelong passion
There are days
Where she wishes nothing more than being alone
For fear of heartbroken or forgotten
There are days
Where nothing in this world is worth living for
And that it is nothing but an empty pit stop
A pit stop for a place she knows not where
There are days
Where she wonders her purpose of living
Breathing in every air
Walking in every soil
But mistake her not
She is far from being ungrateful
Not even near hatred
Towards those she holds most dear
For when she loves, she loves hard
Unfortunately.
And when the big thunder of hatred, betrayal and envy come hitting her
She is left little to hold on to dear life
To keep on staying alive
To keep surviving
She has one weak, small heart
Full with stitches and bandages of wounds past
Complete blame would be unjust
For she is just trying to live with whatever's left
There are days
Like this day
Where she pens down her innermost feelings onto a piece of paper
Despite knowing how easily it could be jeopardised
Because there are days
Where she thinks trust is a strong shield
And words and thoughts of people are like pebbles in one's shoes
Nothing but unwanted and unworthy.
-October 2013-
Where she just wants to curl herself
And sit under the shower
With water falling hard to her head
As she cries alone in the bathroom
There are days
Where music is an annoyance
And silence is welcomed
Where chatter seems like a hateful task
And quiet is like a lifelong passion
There are days
Where she wishes nothing more than being alone
For fear of heartbroken or forgotten
There are days
Where nothing in this world is worth living for
And that it is nothing but an empty pit stop
A pit stop for a place she knows not where
There are days
Where she wonders her purpose of living
Breathing in every air
Walking in every soil
But mistake her not
She is far from being ungrateful
Not even near hatred
Towards those she holds most dear
For when she loves, she loves hard
Unfortunately.
And when the big thunder of hatred, betrayal and envy come hitting her
She is left little to hold on to dear life
To keep on staying alive
To keep surviving
She has one weak, small heart
Full with stitches and bandages of wounds past
Complete blame would be unjust
For she is just trying to live with whatever's left
There are days
Like this day
Where she pens down her innermost feelings onto a piece of paper
Despite knowing how easily it could be jeopardised
Because there are days
Where she thinks trust is a strong shield
And words and thoughts of people are like pebbles in one's shoes
Nothing but unwanted and unworthy.
-October 2013-
Friday, April 26, 2013
As requested
Okay la... memandangkan ada orang request untuk aku menulis tragedi
bulan April kat blog ni, maka aku pun tulis la di sini. Tapi ni kalau
diorg tak baca memang nak kena sumbat dengan roti sorang-sorang.
Alkisah, semalam aku and kawan aku (nama dirahsiakan atas sebab-sebab keselamatan..gitu!) telah ke sebuah pasaraya besar a.k.a shopping mall kat area tempat kerja aku ni. Kitorg parking kat tempat parking bertingkat tu, not too far from the entrance.Time ni shopping mall tu memang ramai orang, and parking pun almost full, memandangkan gaji baru masuk.
So, anyways, kami berdua asalnya nak pergi membeli grocery, and to tambah stok makanan dalam office kitorg. People, snacks are complusory for me. Even as I work, I must have something to munch, so that tak mengelak daripada mengantuk, tak kisah la makanan apa pun, janji leh kunyah. Ye, even roti Sweetie pun aku tak kisah, but aku prefer yang crunchy macam keropok ke, biskut ke, chewing gum ke...asalkan boleh makan and tak mengakibatkan cirit-birit.
Ok, aku dah melecong ke tempat lain. So, for some reason, kitorg lupa kitorg datang untuk beli groceries, pergi makan la pulak. Hajat nak makan ayam goreng McD, tapi setelah lama beratur, mamat waiter/cashier tu cakap ayam dah habis. Kecewa! Frust dengan ayam, kitorg pergi makan ikan, we went to Sushi King and melantak sepuas-puasnya. Habis makan, kitorg jalan-jalan masuk kedai jewellery, kedai kasut, kedai baju. Kedai ubat a.k.a farmasi pun terjah gak, konon nak beli supplement untuk menyihatkan badan. Sepanjang dua jam kat situ, aku ada la beli 2 things (malas nak cakap apa), tapi kawan aku pulak tak beli apa-apa.
Tengok, membebel benda yang tak relevan lagi. Ok la, straight to the issue. So, kitorg pun bersedia nak balik. We went to the car, and when I clicked, aku perasan signal alarm blinking. Aku ingat 'ah, sudah, takde bateri ke apa? camne nak drive balik?' tapi bila start engine boleh pulak. After waiting for a few minutes, kitorg pun drive keluar. Bila lalu speed bump, I kept hearing this thumping sound. Amende la pulak tu? Dah la malam jumaat kan...ada benda menumpang ke? muahahaha! And then kawan aku bagi reason yang lebih logik daripada benda menumpang; bonet kereta tak tutup ketat kot.
Aku pun 'ha'ahhhh laaaa kan je la hipotesis dia tu. Sampai la aku terfikir, bila masa aku bukak bonet? Minggu ni aku tak ada pernah bukak bonet kereta lagi. So we stopped at the bus station and went to check. Indeed, the car boot was not properly closed. Sebelum aku tutup betul-betul, aku decided to check dulu bonet tu, kot-kot la ada orang nak buat khianat dia letak baby ke apa ke dalam bonet aku.
Then, I realised. Bagpack, vintage handbag and surat khabar lama yang aku guna untuk lapik lepas Broga trip tu...dah takde. Hilang. And I was like..'ooohhhhh damnnn...i just got robbed'. Aku masuk dalam kereta, check the seats and everything, and aku perasan payung aku takde jugak. And botol air aku. Payung transparent (bajet nak feeling macam dalam drama jepun) dan botol air kapsul (yang dibeli dari Korea) aku, hilangggggggggg!!!!!!!
I was shocked, angry, dumbfounded, exasperated...whatever negative emotions you can think of, that was how I felt. Terkejut sampai taktau nak buat apa. I know I should make a report tapi time tu dah nak exit highway, plus kawan aku tu balik naik public, jauh lak tu, aku taknak ambik risiko. So, we drove back straight away. And sepanjang jalan tu, aku tak tau berapa banyak dosa dah aku buat; maki hamun, sumpah seranah, semua perkataan keluar.And sepanjang jalan sampai aku sampai rumah, that alarm thingy won't stop blinking.
Aku taknak explain whatever emotions and feeling and aku taknak cakap whatever shit yang aku nak cakap pasal robber tu. Because aku rasa nanti jenuh pulak orang nak baca. To cut it short, pagi ni aku pergi lodge a police report and went to have my car fixed. Somehow I felt a slight denial and finding it hard to believe that this actually happened. All this while I kept reading news and hearing stories about this incident happening to other people, until it happened to me...
p/s: so there you have it. apa-apa kemusykilan nanti sila tunggu aku buat press conference ye.
That is all
Alkisah, semalam aku and kawan aku (nama dirahsiakan atas sebab-sebab keselamatan..gitu!) telah ke sebuah pasaraya besar a.k.a shopping mall kat area tempat kerja aku ni. Kitorg parking kat tempat parking bertingkat tu, not too far from the entrance.Time ni shopping mall tu memang ramai orang, and parking pun almost full, memandangkan gaji baru masuk.
So, anyways, kami berdua asalnya nak pergi membeli grocery, and to tambah stok makanan dalam office kitorg. People, snacks are complusory for me. Even as I work, I must have something to munch, so that tak mengelak daripada mengantuk, tak kisah la makanan apa pun, janji leh kunyah. Ye, even roti Sweetie pun aku tak kisah, but aku prefer yang crunchy macam keropok ke, biskut ke, chewing gum ke...asalkan boleh makan and tak mengakibatkan cirit-birit.
Ok, aku dah melecong ke tempat lain. So, for some reason, kitorg lupa kitorg datang untuk beli groceries, pergi makan la pulak. Hajat nak makan ayam goreng McD, tapi setelah lama beratur, mamat waiter/cashier tu cakap ayam dah habis. Kecewa! Frust dengan ayam, kitorg pergi makan ikan, we went to Sushi King and melantak sepuas-puasnya. Habis makan, kitorg jalan-jalan masuk kedai jewellery, kedai kasut, kedai baju. Kedai ubat a.k.a farmasi pun terjah gak, konon nak beli supplement untuk menyihatkan badan. Sepanjang dua jam kat situ, aku ada la beli 2 things (malas nak cakap apa), tapi kawan aku pulak tak beli apa-apa.
Tengok, membebel benda yang tak relevan lagi. Ok la, straight to the issue. So, kitorg pun bersedia nak balik. We went to the car, and when I clicked, aku perasan signal alarm blinking. Aku ingat 'ah, sudah, takde bateri ke apa? camne nak drive balik?' tapi bila start engine boleh pulak. After waiting for a few minutes, kitorg pun drive keluar. Bila lalu speed bump, I kept hearing this thumping sound. Amende la pulak tu? Dah la malam jumaat kan...ada benda menumpang ke? muahahaha! And then kawan aku bagi reason yang lebih logik daripada benda menumpang; bonet kereta tak tutup ketat kot.
Aku pun 'ha'ahhhh laaaa kan je la hipotesis dia tu. Sampai la aku terfikir, bila masa aku bukak bonet? Minggu ni aku tak ada pernah bukak bonet kereta lagi. So we stopped at the bus station and went to check. Indeed, the car boot was not properly closed. Sebelum aku tutup betul-betul, aku decided to check dulu bonet tu, kot-kot la ada orang nak buat khianat dia letak baby ke apa ke dalam bonet aku.
Then, I realised. Bagpack, vintage handbag and surat khabar lama yang aku guna untuk lapik lepas Broga trip tu...dah takde. Hilang. And I was like..'ooohhhhh damnnn...i just got robbed'. Aku masuk dalam kereta, check the seats and everything, and aku perasan payung aku takde jugak. And botol air aku. Payung transparent (bajet nak feeling macam dalam drama jepun) dan botol air kapsul (yang dibeli dari Korea) aku, hilangggggggggg!!!!!!!
I was shocked, angry, dumbfounded, exasperated...whatever negative emotions you can think of, that was how I felt. Terkejut sampai taktau nak buat apa. I know I should make a report tapi time tu dah nak exit highway, plus kawan aku tu balik naik public, jauh lak tu, aku taknak ambik risiko. So, we drove back straight away. And sepanjang jalan tu, aku tak tau berapa banyak dosa dah aku buat; maki hamun, sumpah seranah, semua perkataan keluar.And sepanjang jalan sampai aku sampai rumah, that alarm thingy won't stop blinking.
Aku taknak explain whatever emotions and feeling and aku taknak cakap whatever shit yang aku nak cakap pasal robber tu. Because aku rasa nanti jenuh pulak orang nak baca. To cut it short, pagi ni aku pergi lodge a police report and went to have my car fixed. Somehow I felt a slight denial and finding it hard to believe that this actually happened. All this while I kept reading news and hearing stories about this incident happening to other people, until it happened to me...
p/s: so there you have it. apa-apa kemusykilan nanti sila tunggu aku buat press conference ye.
That is all
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
caterpillar and the rose
Last month, I went to climb Broga Hill with my 2 friends. It has been a spectacular and memorable journey, and although we didn't get to catch the sunrise (my fault sebab pancit 3 kali di tengah jalan), we really had fun and enjoyed every moment of it. The view at the top of the hill is breathtaking, and the wind feels so refreshing and as we sat there eating breakfast and chatting and laughing, all the troubles and stress were gone.
But to reach the top, it was quite challenging. Especially for a person like yours truly, where the only exercise she did when she woke up every morning is the few steps to the shower and running down the stairs for breakfast, and eyes exercise; watching the television and reading novel throughout the whole day. So when we started, apparently with all the excitement and enthusiasm, we forgot the most important thing. The most important meal of the day; Breakfast. Since we didn't do that, after around 15 minutes of climbing, with all my stamina gone right after I ended my PLKN training, (which was like 5 years ago..damn I feel old!) I began to feel sick and drowsy, macam morning sickness pulak (eh, macam aku tau je morning sickness tu camne. :p). To avoid any risk of fainting, we stopped for a while and had a short breakfast. Makan roti sikit. Ye la, roti is the easiest quick meal. Nak makan those breakfast bar macam Yogood or Nature's Valley tu pun boleh jugak, tapi tunggu la sampai aku jumpa yang harga dia RM1.70 je macam roti Sweetie tu, baru aku beli. Cheapskate sangat aku ni kan. Haha!
Aku sebenarnya dah lari topik ni. What I am trying to say is, even as we were climbing, with me panting and gasping for air (for a second I thought I might get asthma attack, until I realised that I don't even have asthma), and after getting to the top, while lying down on the big rocks, I had a self-reflection. Sesi muhasabah diri sorang-sorang, gitu! During the climb, I was so close to giving up reaching the top and forget about the whole idea altogether. Why? Because it is difficult, and I don't like it. I sound like a big spoilt brat, and I am embarrassed myself for having to admit the fact.
Reflecting back on all the things happened, all those times where I gave up halfway, it was a huge loss of opportunity. Those opportunities don't come often, and not everyone have that kind of opportunities come knocking. But I did, and yet I took it for granted. When hardships strike, and in the event where it was too much for me to bear, I ran. Escaped. Flee. Leaving the troubles behind, with the assumption that somebody else will clean up the mess. And in most situation, that is exactly what happened.
I felt relieved, of course, for no longer having the liability and responsibility to take the blame for whatever problems that arise from it. But it took me quite long to realise that I am the one who suffer the loss. I don't get to improve. Experience is the best teacher, and only by mistakes that you learn and remember, and become a better person. My act of fleeing or leaving half way, kills all the chances that I could have gotten to improve myself and become more positive that before. And perhaps a better person than who I am now.
It takes a caterpillar through so many pain going through the thorns before it finally gets to the rose (metaphor sangatttt). And so, here's another one to add into my lifelong goal; no more running. Strike out escapism and bring in more positivity and realistic. Because I have seen the beauty and satisfying result of ending and completing a hill climbing challenge, I am certain that at the end of the journey of life, especially those with so much obstacles and wild thorns along the way, it will be so much more beautiful and spectacular, more than words can say.
But to reach the top, it was quite challenging. Especially for a person like yours truly, where the only exercise she did when she woke up every morning is the few steps to the shower and running down the stairs for breakfast, and eyes exercise; watching the television and reading novel throughout the whole day. So when we started, apparently with all the excitement and enthusiasm, we forgot the most important thing. The most important meal of the day; Breakfast. Since we didn't do that, after around 15 minutes of climbing, with all my stamina gone right after I ended my PLKN training, (which was like 5 years ago..damn I feel old!) I began to feel sick and drowsy, macam morning sickness pulak (eh, macam aku tau je morning sickness tu camne. :p). To avoid any risk of fainting, we stopped for a while and had a short breakfast. Makan roti sikit. Ye la, roti is the easiest quick meal. Nak makan those breakfast bar macam Yogood or Nature's Valley tu pun boleh jugak, tapi tunggu la sampai aku jumpa yang harga dia RM1.70 je macam roti Sweetie tu, baru aku beli. Cheapskate sangat aku ni kan. Haha!
Aku sebenarnya dah lari topik ni. What I am trying to say is, even as we were climbing, with me panting and gasping for air (for a second I thought I might get asthma attack, until I realised that I don't even have asthma), and after getting to the top, while lying down on the big rocks, I had a self-reflection. Sesi muhasabah diri sorang-sorang, gitu! During the climb, I was so close to giving up reaching the top and forget about the whole idea altogether. Why? Because it is difficult, and I don't like it. I sound like a big spoilt brat, and I am embarrassed myself for having to admit the fact.
Reflecting back on all the things happened, all those times where I gave up halfway, it was a huge loss of opportunity. Those opportunities don't come often, and not everyone have that kind of opportunities come knocking. But I did, and yet I took it for granted. When hardships strike, and in the event where it was too much for me to bear, I ran. Escaped. Flee. Leaving the troubles behind, with the assumption that somebody else will clean up the mess. And in most situation, that is exactly what happened.
I felt relieved, of course, for no longer having the liability and responsibility to take the blame for whatever problems that arise from it. But it took me quite long to realise that I am the one who suffer the loss. I don't get to improve. Experience is the best teacher, and only by mistakes that you learn and remember, and become a better person. My act of fleeing or leaving half way, kills all the chances that I could have gotten to improve myself and become more positive that before. And perhaps a better person than who I am now.
It takes a caterpillar through so many pain going through the thorns before it finally gets to the rose (metaphor sangatttt). And so, here's another one to add into my lifelong goal; no more running. Strike out escapism and bring in more positivity and realistic. Because I have seen the beauty and satisfying result of ending and completing a hill climbing challenge, I am certain that at the end of the journey of life, especially those with so much obstacles and wild thorns along the way, it will be so much more beautiful and spectacular, more than words can say.
Monday, February 25, 2013
lesson on faith from salmon fishing
'Faith is the cure that heals all troubles. Without faith, there is no hope and no love. Faith comes before hope, and before love.'
Everything we are, whatever we do, wherever we go, it is on faith. Faith gets us to where we plan to go. Faith motivates us to what we want to become, Faith defines a person.
Faith comes in many shapes. It is not faith in God per se. For some, they have faith in everything that is around them. For others, they have faith in themselves. Either way, it is faith that keeps us moving. But faith cannot stand alone. You have to believe.
Even the most impossible idea can be achieved by believing. You must have faith, and you must believe in it. And by believing doesn't mean that one just have to wait and pray for the miracle or the success to happen. One has to work for it, make effort for it, earn it. Success doesn't just come rolling over or land happily on your lap. Life is not that cushy. Sure, there are challengers and hardships to endure, and at most times you will question the faith you have, and all the doubts come running and swirling into your mind, trying to convince that what you believe is perhaps just a silly dream. There will be people who will go against you, who will try to rob and take that faith, that belief, that dream away from you, and you will feel at times that it's not worth the effort.
But we forget that where there's enemies, there are also friends, family and even strangers, who share your belief and is always there to support and encourage you. We seem to forget that despite all the dark clouds, there will always be a silver lining, no matter how thin, or how tiny it is. Because it is promised that all efforts will not go to waste. So what do we have to lose? Fear of the risks? Risks are always going to be there, always. Anywhere you go, risks follows like a shadow. It is your choice to treat it either as a friend, or foe.
And when success emerged itself, presenting itself to us, that satisfaction, that feeling we have as we embrace the welcome of success, that, is the best feeling in the world. And nobody can take it away from you. Because it is yours. Forever and always.
This is what I learn from reading Salmon Fishing in The Yemen by Paul Torday. Having faith alone is not enough, you must believe in it. Only when you have faith, you will see the beauty that surrounds you, the opportunities that open their doors to welcome you, and people that will love and cherish you in their lives.
A wonderful, beautiful and insipiring book, and I am glad that I chanced upon it during the Big Bad Wolf book sale. A must read.
Everything we are, whatever we do, wherever we go, it is on faith. Faith gets us to where we plan to go. Faith motivates us to what we want to become, Faith defines a person.
Faith comes in many shapes. It is not faith in God per se. For some, they have faith in everything that is around them. For others, they have faith in themselves. Either way, it is faith that keeps us moving. But faith cannot stand alone. You have to believe.
Even the most impossible idea can be achieved by believing. You must have faith, and you must believe in it. And by believing doesn't mean that one just have to wait and pray for the miracle or the success to happen. One has to work for it, make effort for it, earn it. Success doesn't just come rolling over or land happily on your lap. Life is not that cushy. Sure, there are challengers and hardships to endure, and at most times you will question the faith you have, and all the doubts come running and swirling into your mind, trying to convince that what you believe is perhaps just a silly dream. There will be people who will go against you, who will try to rob and take that faith, that belief, that dream away from you, and you will feel at times that it's not worth the effort.
But we forget that where there's enemies, there are also friends, family and even strangers, who share your belief and is always there to support and encourage you. We seem to forget that despite all the dark clouds, there will always be a silver lining, no matter how thin, or how tiny it is. Because it is promised that all efforts will not go to waste. So what do we have to lose? Fear of the risks? Risks are always going to be there, always. Anywhere you go, risks follows like a shadow. It is your choice to treat it either as a friend, or foe.
And when success emerged itself, presenting itself to us, that satisfaction, that feeling we have as we embrace the welcome of success, that, is the best feeling in the world. And nobody can take it away from you. Because it is yours. Forever and always.
This is what I learn from reading Salmon Fishing in The Yemen by Paul Torday. Having faith alone is not enough, you must believe in it. Only when you have faith, you will see the beauty that surrounds you, the opportunities that open their doors to welcome you, and people that will love and cherish you in their lives.
A wonderful, beautiful and insipiring book, and I am glad that I chanced upon it during the Big Bad Wolf book sale. A must read.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
graduation goggles
Salamualaikum and Ahoy!
For those who doesn't know, Graduation Goggles is a term used to describe the nostalgic feeling one has about a time or someone in their life when it is about to end, even if the time was completely miserable. If you're a How I Met Your Mother fan, you'll know what I'm talking about.
I am currently having Graduation Goggles. It all started when I received an offer that I never anticipated. When I received that offer, I'm still working in a place where I am now. The first thing to note is that I have been waiting for quite a while for the offer to come, but since it has been months, I decided to move on and look for another job, since it has been a waste of time waiting, and I've run out of cash....plus another reason in which I will not mention about it here.
People say you'll know a place is suitable for you when you wake up not with a miserable feeling that a new day has come, like you don't feel like leaving, or looking for another place for a job. That is how my current office is. I love it here. Sure, it's not a posh place, where there's a reception area and fancy, executive signboards and floors of departments, but it's friendly. I can totally see myself working here for quite some years. Mind that I do not intend to practice for life, but working in this current place, I might change my mind. The people are helpful, friendly and there's not much office politics going around. Well, if you're working in a place where there's only 11 people, you might as well forget about the idea of playing politics, because it seems to be a waste of time and people don't really give a damn.
The main thing I love it here is that I am able to learn. The boss I'm working with, he's willing to teach and explain on things that I don't know. Even if I already know, he explains it more to make sure I remember and really understands the whole picture. Of course, he makes me go to many court cases, which is pretty tiring, considering the amount of work and energy you put on, but I don't mind doing it because I can learn from it. Yup, he's a good boss indeed. Of course he has his shortcomings, but why look into that, eh?
So when I received that offer, I know that it is one offer that I just cannot refuse. It's not everyday you receive the opportunity. Many applied, and only some are selected. It's like being offered to go to Hogwarts. Will you refuse to go to Hogwarts? Or getting the chance to be the Doctor's companion. I'm sure as hell won't miss that for the world! Okay, I'm exaggerating. The offer is not exactly so exciting, I'm just trying to make my point.
At the same time, I hate leaving this office. Hence the Graduation Goggles. Only in this situation, I do not hate the place. And throughout working here, I never have the intention to get out from here or to switch jobs. Compared to the previous one, everyday was like forced labour. I feel very guilty upon informing my boss of my decision. I cause burden and trouble to him and the whole office, since it is a short notice thing. I thought long and hard of this decision. It's a freaking dilemma! Of course people around me urge me to accept it, but at the same time, I'm not sure if this is what's best. I mean, I already found a place I love working at, why do I want to leave? What if the new place is worse than the other place I've been? Am I willing to take the risk? After thinking. considering and Istikharah for some nights, I decide that this is best. I did mention that I do not intend to practice for long, perhaps this opportunity will allow me to look into other scope of jobs that might one day be the ideal job for me. Insya Allah.
It is going to be difficult to leave this nice office. With its nice people and by far the nicest boss, but I have to make decisions for what's best for me. Well, I hope this will be the best for me. And believe me, if there's ever a chance in future to return and work in this office, there's no doubt that I will accept it.
Till next time.
For those who doesn't know, Graduation Goggles is a term used to describe the nostalgic feeling one has about a time or someone in their life when it is about to end, even if the time was completely miserable. If you're a How I Met Your Mother fan, you'll know what I'm talking about.
I am currently having Graduation Goggles. It all started when I received an offer that I never anticipated. When I received that offer, I'm still working in a place where I am now. The first thing to note is that I have been waiting for quite a while for the offer to come, but since it has been months, I decided to move on and look for another job, since it has been a waste of time waiting, and I've run out of cash....plus another reason in which I will not mention about it here.
People say you'll know a place is suitable for you when you wake up not with a miserable feeling that a new day has come, like you don't feel like leaving, or looking for another place for a job. That is how my current office is. I love it here. Sure, it's not a posh place, where there's a reception area and fancy, executive signboards and floors of departments, but it's friendly. I can totally see myself working here for quite some years. Mind that I do not intend to practice for life, but working in this current place, I might change my mind. The people are helpful, friendly and there's not much office politics going around. Well, if you're working in a place where there's only 11 people, you might as well forget about the idea of playing politics, because it seems to be a waste of time and people don't really give a damn.
The main thing I love it here is that I am able to learn. The boss I'm working with, he's willing to teach and explain on things that I don't know. Even if I already know, he explains it more to make sure I remember and really understands the whole picture. Of course, he makes me go to many court cases, which is pretty tiring, considering the amount of work and energy you put on, but I don't mind doing it because I can learn from it. Yup, he's a good boss indeed. Of course he has his shortcomings, but why look into that, eh?
So when I received that offer, I know that it is one offer that I just cannot refuse. It's not everyday you receive the opportunity. Many applied, and only some are selected. It's like being offered to go to Hogwarts. Will you refuse to go to Hogwarts? Or getting the chance to be the Doctor's companion. I'm sure as hell won't miss that for the world! Okay, I'm exaggerating. The offer is not exactly so exciting, I'm just trying to make my point.
At the same time, I hate leaving this office. Hence the Graduation Goggles. Only in this situation, I do not hate the place. And throughout working here, I never have the intention to get out from here or to switch jobs. Compared to the previous one, everyday was like forced labour. I feel very guilty upon informing my boss of my decision. I cause burden and trouble to him and the whole office, since it is a short notice thing. I thought long and hard of this decision. It's a freaking dilemma! Of course people around me urge me to accept it, but at the same time, I'm not sure if this is what's best. I mean, I already found a place I love working at, why do I want to leave? What if the new place is worse than the other place I've been? Am I willing to take the risk? After thinking. considering and Istikharah for some nights, I decide that this is best. I did mention that I do not intend to practice for long, perhaps this opportunity will allow me to look into other scope of jobs that might one day be the ideal job for me. Insya Allah.
It is going to be difficult to leave this nice office. With its nice people and by far the nicest boss, but I have to make decisions for what's best for me. Well, I hope this will be the best for me. And believe me, if there's ever a chance in future to return and work in this office, there's no doubt that I will accept it.
Till next time.
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